The FeelGood factor
by CD57
Summary: Hammond has to help SG-1 dealing with the events on P5S-381. A tag to Scorched Earth - Season 4


**DISCLAIMER:** Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions; all the powers that be, not me; This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement intended. The story is the property of the author and may not be posted without the author's consent.

**SEASON:** Four. Tag to Scorched Earth

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:** I just needed to write this. Hope you don't mind, BG. There had to be so much more after this episode. This is what I think happened. Feedback always appreciated. Written in 2001. Never posted on ff before, though.

**WARNINGS:** none.

* * *

General Hammond stood in the Gateroom, waiting for his team to come home from P5S-381, the world they'd chosen for the Enkarans to live on. He knew he had sent them off with an impossible task, playing the devil's advocate by telling them that they would have to find themselves another way to get out of this one than by engaging weapons or troops.

He thought back to the weeks, no, months of searching. Major Carter had used every trick she knew to finally come up with one: a planet with conditions fitting the narrow environmental parameters for the Enkarans to survive. Two weeks were all that was needed to settle them there, helping them to start building a new life. Two weeks, in which the Enkarans had proved to be hard workers, managing to build whole towns for themselves to live.

The Enkarans were incredibly happy and thankful and it made everybody from the SGC who had been a part in this mission proud; by lending a hand they saved a whole civilization.

What was that called? The Janus Factor?

Hammond smiled, although the joy never reached his eyes. Oh, yeah, he admitted it. It had felt damn good. It was something he stood for, by commanding this base, this facility. To stay human, to never forget who they were, to not be blinded by their missions and hunt for technologies and weapons to fight the Goa'uld. What gave you the right to fight the bad guys if you'd become one of them?

He'd managed to keep a clean conscience, to stick to his principles in the past years. This latest action was just another proof of what the SGC stood for, and he was damn proud of that.

Only now, their luck was running out.

Another race, the Gadmeer, had chosen the same planet to build a new life on, and was now quickly burning down the planet, to create their own specific conditions.

That had left the humans in an impossible situation. The alien ship was proceeding with such speed, that there was not enough time to find another suitable planet for the Enkarans; it didn't even leave enough time to evacuate them all back to Earth.

It was also impossible for the Gadmeer to select another planet, as their ship was only capable of transforming one planet, and this was the only suitable planet for them as well.

Stalemate.

It sucked that neither of the parties were hostile. In that case, he could have wiped out the hostiles. How could he decide which of the peaceful civilizations had more rights to live on this planet? He was the CO of the SGC, not God.

He was hoping SG-1 would manage the impossible once more, achieving what everybody wanted, but couldn't hope for: to find a way suitable for both civilizations. He was certain that his people could find that other solution, if they had more time at hand.

There was no time.

Not this time.

Oh, God. He'd left them in a no-win, no-win situation without giving them support, and although this was probably going to affect everybody who'd worked with the Enkarans, it was going to affect his prime exploration team the most. They were the ones in closest contact with the Enkarans, and he'd sent them off to watch them die, to be wiped away, unable to do anything about it.

Easy for him, to stay on Earth, to turn his head and go on with his life. He hadn't been there. They had.

Although he had no means of knowing the outcome of the conflict, he was certain of a couple of things. Dr. Jackson would never stop looking for a solution that would help both civilizations to survive; and would probably die while trying. Major Carter would have a hard time in accepting the fact that her intelligence wasn't able to solve this, and Colonel O'Neill…

Damn.

He knew his Second well. In fact, he fully believed he knew him even better than the man knew himself. If, and it was a big if, IF the Colonel returned home, the chances were high that he was going to retire. Again. Hammond wasn't sure if he could stop him this time, as he would fully understand that decision.

Unless…

Wishful thinking. It was all he could do, and it was all he had done the last couple of hours. Hanging on to a hope so tiny, so fragile, yet he knew that without hope, all would be lost anyway.

The Stargate burst to life and the wormhole engaged; bathing the gateroom into the dim blue light they'd all got used to.

Without realizing it Hammond stood, holding his breath, while Dr. Jackson emerged, smiling widely. He was followed by Major Carter, with an equal smile lightening up her face, making her look like a schoolgirl who had just heard she passed her exams. Teal'c stepped through looking much like… Teal'c, actually, and Colonel O'Neill was closing the line, walking down the ramp, slowly and steadily, one hand shoved deep in his pocket.

"Relax, General. Daniel here did his magic and they all lived happily ever after…"

Sighing in relief, General Hammond nodded at his first contact team. "Well done, SG-1. Dismissed to clean up. Debriefing is in thirty minutes."

He watched them go, an uncomfortable feeling creeping over his back. He'd suddenly sensed a tension between the small group, and he didn't fail to notice the way they glared at each other while heading to the blast doors. The most disturbing was, however, that they were quiet. There was no body contact between any of them, and O'Neill didn't even crack a bad joke. It was all pretty unnerving, and this time he sighed again, deeply. Debriefing was waiting.

--oo--oo--

Entering the briefing room only confirmed his suspicions. Although the team had once again managed to save two civilizations today, they weren't exactly overflowing with joy. Something had happened back on P5S-381 and he was intending to find out what. No way Hammond was going to release his team like this, not before he'd gotten to the bottom of this and, hopefully had been able to do some gluing of the shattered pieces.

Major Carter sat opposite of the Colonel, staring at the table and her fingernails in front of her. It was the first time in four years that the General had actually seen her show any interest in her body parts like that; it was just not like her. Dr. Jackson was sitting next to her, studying the construction of the ceiling as if it had been renewed, although it was still the same boring ceiling it always had been. Teal'c sat up straight, apparently not affected by anything. Last, but not least, O'Neill hardly looked up, looking annoyed, bored and… Hammond couldn't quite put his finger on it. The man's face was far from relaxed.

"At ease, people," he said, although neither one of them was responding appropriately to his arrival. He decided to let them off the hook for now. "First of all, I like to congratulate you all with your achievement. I'm extremely satisfied with the outcome of this mission, as it is far more from what we believed possible."

Daniel Jackson's face lit up, as a brief smile floated his face. Major Carter murmured her usual "Thanks, Sir," and Teal'c just bowed his head.

O'Neill straightened. "Your congratulations should all go to Daniel, Sir. It was his interference that got us out of this one." The shot he threw into the linguist's direction was one of pride and gratitude.

'Good,' thought Hammond. At least that was NOT the problem. "Your report, Colonel?"

He merely listened as the situation was revealed to him; how O'Neill had decided to blow up the alien ship; how Carter had objected to his plan by handing him the remote control; how Daniel Jackson had managed to get himself transported to the ship in an effort to talk the alien life form, Lotan, out of his plan. It didn't take much of his imagination to understand the struggle they all had gone through, with morals and decisions, forcing them to choose between one civilization and the other. Adding to that the sudden presence of a team-member on that very ship, the one that was about to be blown, Hammond couldn't help but groan inwardly.

The impact of this mission was far worse than he'd even suspected, making him wonder how he could fix it. SG-1, famous for their close calls, had yet again added one to their list and the General was absolutely sure this was the closest one of all. This one almost ripped them apart in a blow that fell so fast that they wouldn't have known what had hit them.

Hammond had seen how the Major almost crumpled on her chair, as O'Neill calmly informed the General that he'd ordered her to make that naquada bomb and how she'd handed him the detonator.

He also hadn't failed to notice Dr. Jackson's nervous shifting during the part where O'Neill explained he'd detonated that bomb, fully aware of the fact that the archaeologist was still aboard of that ship.

O'Neill had given his report in a mechanical way, stating the facts without revealing a hint of emotion. He didn't look at his team-members any more than necessary and they avoided looking back at him as well.

Oh, boy. This was going to be tough.

Hammond looked at his Second, who was absently rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"Thanks for the report, Colonel. Why don't you get down to the infirmary? It's obvious you have a mother of a headache."

Frowning, the Colonel objected. "It's okay, Sir, really…"

"That wasn't a suggestion, Colonel. That was an order. You're dismissed."

Reluctantly, O'Neill got up, shrugged his shoulders and left.

Hammond turned his attention to the three remaining team-members, who were now throwing stunned frowns towards the door the Colonel had just left through.

"I didn't realize he wasn't feeling well. I thought he wasn't pleased…" started Daniel.

"Pleased with what, Dr. Jackson?" the General wondered.

"Well… we didn't actually… did what we were supposed to do, I think…" the linguist hesitated. "I went up the ship to talk to Lotan, and Sam sort of refused to detonate that bomb."

"Did Colonel O'Neill order you not to talk to Lotan?"

"Errr, no. Not really…"

"Do you think Colonel O'Neill is not happy with the results?" Hammond asked in surprise.

"He certainly has a funny way of showing it," Daniel pointed out.

"Well, considering what happened…" the General looked Daniel straight in the eyes. "You see, Dr. Jackson, with a positive result, a good team leader gives all credits to his team. In all other cases, he carries the burden alone. I think the Colonel hasn't had time yet to release that burden." Hammond now turned to Carter. "So, Major. The Colonel ordered you to make that naquada bomb, is that correct?"

She nodded. "Yes, Sir."

"Why do you think he did that, Major?"

She shrugged, her eyes wide as she tried to think back at that specific moment. "I guess he felt I wouldn't agree with his decision, Sir."

"And did you, Major?"

Carter hesitated, shifting uncomfortably on her chair. "Not really, Sir," she admitted.

"Can you explain to me why you didn't agree?" Hammond asked.

"Well, Sir…" she thought it over for a second. "I didn't feel that we were the ones to decide which civilization was to survive, Sir."

"I see. How about you, Dr. Jackson?" Hammond addressed the linguist.

Daniel looked up, arching his brows. "I think I haven't really considered that. I guess I was too focused on finding another solution."

Hammond nodded, thinking on how to continue. "If the Stargate had been between the village and the alien ship, and you didn't have time to return back to Earth before the ship destroyed the 'gate, would you have detonated that bomb then, Major?"

Carter's eyes widened, then she looked down. "I think so, Sir."

"Ah," responded Hammond. "And why is it that we can't play God if it involves other people, and yet we can when our own lives are at stake?" He had her there, and he knew it.

Sam didn't answer, but kept staring at her fingernails instead.

"Did you realize what would have happened if you hadn't succeeded in persuading Lotan, Dr. Jackson?" the General continued.

"Yeah," Daniel nodded. "Jack would have blown up the ship. He did activate the bomb."

"And you would be?"

"Well," the archaeologist shrugged, "I planned on leaving before that moment. But I would be… dead, I think."

"Have either of you considered what to do if blowing up the alien ship wouldn't have worked and you wouldn't have been able to convince Lotan to change plans?"

"No, Sir," said Carter.

"Coming home?" opted Daniel.

"What do you think Colonel O'Neill would have done?" Hammond asked.

They all fell silent.

"What I'm trying to say here is that sometimes we are forced into a situation with no easy way out. Now you are in the lucky position that you don't have to make the decision between bad and worse, but Colonel O'Neill is not," Hammond explained. "He's got to decide what to do, what the back-up plan is, and how to respond to a worst case scenario, carrying the responsibility for the decision and the outcome. In this case, we were forced to play for God, whether we wanted to or not."

Carter frowned.

"Yes, Major," the older man continued. "Blowing up the ship condemned the Gadmeer to death, but doing nothing was the death penalty for the Enkarans. Remember that not deciding is also making a decision. And I've learned that making a decision is always better than avoiding to make one. Even if it turns out to be a bad choice. Colonel O'Neill did what he had to do and as far as I can tell he, by giving you a direct order, enabled you to keep a clean conscience."

Carter slowly nodded, understanding what the General tried to tell her. "Yes, Sir."

"He could have tried to find another solution…" Daniel argued.

"Could he?" asked Hammond. "How much time was left after finishing that bomb?"

"About fifteen minutes max, Sir," Sam answered.

The General raised his hands. "That's pretty close in my books."

"He would have retired again…" Daniel thought out loud, suddenly thinking back at an earlier asked question.

"If he really had blown up that ship, yes," General Hammond agreed.

"And if the Enkarans had been wiped out?" Daniel continued, looking at his friends, a sudden fear shining through his eyes.

"I do not believe O'Neill would have left them, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c said simply.

After Teal'c's words had sunken in, the General ended the briefing. "Let's not forget that didn't happen, people. I just want to remind you that you, as a first contact team, will most likely face similar moral questions in the future. I hope that you've learned from this one so that you all are better prepared. We were damn lucky now, but we don't know if we're that fortunate the next time."

He watched them go, thinking 'three down, one to go,' and left.

--oo--oo--

Jack O'Neill left the base after swallowing some pills in the infirmary for his ever-growing headache. He'd neither questioned how the General knew he had one, nor had he tried to deny it. He simply didn't have the energy.

Driving home, he tried to sort out his feelings. He was of course glad that both civilizations had survived, thanks to Daniel. Although it had frightened him that the linguist had decided to go and talk to Lotan once more, he'd also felt proud of the man's determination. If there were one man capable of persuading even a machine, it was Daniel. On the other hand, if Daniel hadn't managed, it had cost the linguist his life and Jack would have been responsible.

He had detonated that bomb. He didn't think he'd made a decision tougher than this one. He had detonated that bomb, fully aware of the fact that it would not only kill the Gadmeer, but his friend as well.

Jack hit the steering wheel with his clenched fist out of frustration at the memory of that very moment.

For him, there was no way he could allow an alien race, no matter how peaceful, to wipe out another innocent civilization. Since he was also running out of time, forcing him to decide quickly, he hadn't hesitated to have Carter prepare that naquada bomb.

Knowing he would still have a hard time coping with the Gadmeer's deaths, he figured he'd manage to live with it, like he always had in the past with the other unpleasant decisions he'd made.

Realizing Daniel was on that ship had made it a little different, though. He could still hear Carter telling him if he wanted to stop the Gadmeer he had to do it, now. But damn it, Daniel was on that ship...

It was Teal'c who reminded him that it was Daniel's choice to be there, and that he had to make his own decision. He had, by pressing that button, but the impact it had on him was immense. He'd just sentenced his best friend to death and although he thought he could eventually live with stopping the Gadmeer, he doubted he would ever get over being responsible for Daniel's death.

Sure, Daniel was prepared to die while trying to come up with a better plan. Daniel would probably have expected for Jack to continue with his part of the plan, too. That was just so Daniel.

One military man and a civilian.

Jack smiled wearily as his headache eased to a more bearable level. He parked his car, went inside his house to fetch a beer and went up straight to his roof. He liked sitting up there, watching the stars, the moon… the galaxy.

One military man and a civilian. So different and yet so much alike. Come to think of it, he realized that Daniel, like him, was prepared to die for his principles, for his ideals. He had to admire the guts the younger man possessed. He wondered if the archaeologist would see the similarities between them. Jack himself had inwardly vowed to stand beside the Enkarans if he wasn't able to stop the Gadmeer. No way he would have returned home, knowing what had become of those kind, helpless people. He couldn't fail them. He'd failed enough in his life, causing too many deaths.

He wasn't really sure if the others had agreed with his decisions. He was pretty sure, in fact, that Carter hadn't; she'd been clear on that. Not that he blamed her for speaking up. Jack was glad she'd done that; he didn't want her to walk around with that burden on her shoulders.

His major worry was how this whole mess had affected his team. Whether they'd agreed or not; but would they understand? Or would they blame him? Would they ever be able to forgive him, and trust him as their leader?

He seriously wondered whether his younger friend would ever forgive him for detonating that bomb, let alone Carter. They were still so young, so... vulnerable and naive. How many times had they faced anything disastrous like this, where each decision sucked and would cost innocent people's lives? They were so convinced that there was always another way, something smart for Carter to come up with, or something diplomatic for Daniel to negotiate. The world just wasn't like that, not all the time, and it nearly wasn't this time.

It was quite a dilemma. On the one hand, he needed them to realize this, understand it, so they'd be prepared... On the other hand, he didn't want them to change; he needed them, believing and trusting there was another solution, desperate to find it.

Sipping his beer, Jack stared at the stars. He figured that right now it was best to stay away from them for a bit. Let them cool off, giving them time to think. They probably didn't want to see him anyway, at least not yet.

Hammond parked his car, noticing the lights were still off in the house. O'Neill's car was parked here, too, so the General knew the man was home and he had a pretty fair idea of where to find him. He walked over to the back of the house. "Jack? You're there?"

"Yes, Sir. Come on up," the Colonel said, as he appeared near the steps ready to give the General a helping hand.

Hammond grabbed the offered hand, climbed up and lowered himself in the offered chair. He studied his XO, attempting to see right through him although that had never been easy with O'Neill. "How are you doing, son?"

Jack shrugged his shoulders but failed to look at his CO. "Fine, Sir."

"You sure?" Hammond demanded, not convinced.

"How is my team?" O'Neill sank down, knees drawn, comfortably leaning with his back against the wall.

That was the Colonel Hammond knew so well, avoiding questions regarding his own state of mind but always concerned about his team. He smiled. "They're having a hard time with this particular mission, but I think they'll be all right."

"I hope so," was the soft reply.

"They will be, Jack. It was a rough day for all of you and it was a real close call."

"Don't I know it…" the man sighed.

"You did a good job out there, Colonel. You all did," Hammond tried. "I regret that I had to send you out there like this."

"Not your fault," came the short answer.

"Not yours either," Hammond added to that. "You were forced to choose between two civilizations, both peaceful and vulnerable; nobody should be put into that position in the first place."

"I could have stepped back and wait for the inevitable..." O'Neill prompted.

"No, you couldn't. That's not who you are and what you do."

"It was all clear to me, doing a very bad thing to prevent something even more horrible. I think I could eventually live with that. But then, when I found out Daniel was on that ship..." Jack stopped, his voice fading.

"You did what you had to do, Jack. So did Daniel. That's what makes you such a good team," the General pointed out.

"It's gonna get us killed some day..." objected the Colonel.

"Maybe," Hammond agreed. "But remember that whenever, if ever that happens, you both have done all you could, and all you expected the other to do. Why die avoiding making a difference when you can die trying? I think Dr. Jackson was very aware of his actions, but he needed to try anyway. And I doubt he wanted you to stop from doing what you intended to do."

"I don't know..."

"They are just not ready to face impossible decisions like this, Jack. They rather concentrate on trying to find another way, without facing the possibility that they might not succeed. It's the easier way out. It's only natural for them to act like that," Hammond explained.

"I know," Jack agreed, "it's just... will they know that I can't...?"

"They know. I've explained that to them... and while I doubt they want to be in your shoes, I'm positive they still want to follow your footsteps." Hammond rose and stretched his muscles. "I've got a granddaughter waiting for me, so I should be going. You gonna be okay?"

Noise from below startled both men, as more people entered the backyard. "Jack! We know you're up there! Come on down, we've brought some pizza and your favorite brand of beer!" Daniel's voice reached them, and the General witnessed the impact it had on O'Neill, as a wide smile appeared on the man's face. "Oh, I'm gonna be just fine, Sir," the Colonel murmured.

Hammond nodded and both men climbed down, surprising the three other members of SG-1.

"Sir! We didn't know..." Carter started to apologize at the sight of the SGC's CO.

"General Hammond. We were unaware of your presence," Teal'c joined in.

Hammond briefly waved his hands. "I was on my way out, anyway. You have a good time..." He hurried away, overhearing Daniel's words.

"Hi, Jack. We figured you needed some company..."

Opening the door of his car, Hammond got in, smiling.

It was back. He was feeling good again.

**_THE END_**


End file.
